About hard sex
When I got married about a year ago, I thought sex was as easy as falling, well, into bed.
A year on, and I’m wondering when it starts to be more joy than difficulty. We were both virgins on our wedding night. We’d masturbated a bit together since we got engaged, and my husband had masturbated with two of his ex-girlfriends, but we were both pretty inexperienced.
After the most beautiful, perfect day of my life, we had the most perfectly disastrous first attempt at intercourse. We were exhausted and nervous. It hurt like hell, and I couldn’t even fit him in. I started bleeding, but he hadn’t even managed to make it into me. He fell asleep, and I was left crying, unable to believe it was so painful, and that my new husband could do that to me and then just fall asleep, after having masturbated himself to orgasm.
I was so tired, and we had to be on a plane the next day, but I was too miserable to sleep. I got dressed and wanted to walk out on the nightmare.
Things have got better since then. But sex has been so difficult for us from the very first time right up till now, a year later. Our sex life has been pretty unfulfilling on average, with only the tiniest glimmers of what I thought sex would be like.
This is the blog that needs to be written. I hope it charts the improvement of our fledgling sex-life, and provides a cathartic outlet for some of the recurrent difficulties we keep running into.