another woman
I’m depressed that I can’t see our marriage lasting.
He admitted to being attracted to his co-worker. When I first met her, they had only been working together a few weeks but something about the way he treated her and talked to her made me feel jealous. But he told me I was crazy and insecure.
But half a year later, he has admitted to being attracted to her. And on Saturday morning he admitted that he thought about her before we had sex the night before. The sex was wonderful, but now I know that he was thinking about her, I feel like he was being unfaithful to me while he was having sex with me. Like he was using my body in adultery with her.
Just last weekend we went to a marriage course organised by our church, and we realised we needed to be more open with eachother, because we are drifting apart.
Now, I just don’t want to be closer to him. I don’t want to be married anymore.
Maybe my husband will always be unfaithful to me, and one day he will leave me. You might think I’m over reacting. But I can see it happening, starting off small, just being good friends with a co-worker (who he likes to imagine having sex with). But it ends up with him leaving me for another woman. (when the kids get annoying and the wife gets boring.)
I can’t imagine ever having children, because I cannot trust my marriage, and I don’t think we could ever stand the extra stress on our relationship that kids would be. This makes me really depressed, because I always thought I would have children. I thought that the only reason I wouldn’t have children was because I couldn’t find the right man to marry.
I have married someone who I can’t trust enough to have children with. It makes me feel like we are just marking time, causing more pain to eachother before we inevitably divorce.
I can let you know that he has probably given you signs of what he wants from you. Almost all men want to make love and fulfill their fantasies with the person they love, right there at home. Just like a woman, when feeling neglected. He will gravitate to someone else that will make him feel the way he wants you to make him. It’s not what he really wants, but in the absence of anything else. He’ll take it.
Woman get us all wrong. They think we’re just looking to nail anything that walks. That’s not it at all. We want the same things you do. To be loved, to feel loved, to feel wanted, to feel we’re needed. Think if what you want, he wants the same thing. Now, look and see if your meeting his needs, and him of yours.
Communication is one of the biggest things I see me and my wife do wrong. I communicate a lot and she holds things in. She knows what I want, I have no idea what she wants. It doesn’t make things easy.
Do you know about the 5 languages of love? Do a Google search. It was a big help for me at least. For years I wasn’t meeting her language.
You are still on my mind. I hope all is well with you.
Warmly,
Hope